Contestant #2

Contestant #2 in the Dressed for the Occasion competition is Guy; and what a hilarious guy he is.

Yes folks, Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte is the first official 'clown' in space. There's been a few before him, but they weren't really 'official'.

The classically funny red nose that makes earthlings and aliens alike burst into spontaneous laughter, gives the entire game away. It screams space-travel the same way jodhpurs screams horse-riding.

NaNoWriMo

I had forgotton all about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month which occurs in November every year) until Hervor asked if I had any ideas for it this year. I never gave it another thought until about 2am this morning when I woke up and thought that my experiences with brain fog over the past few days could make a good basis for a horror novel. A few minutes thought and hey presto, a fully formed plot.

Added to that was that I dreamt I was at some kind of shop/kiosk thing and the person behind the counter asked me to read their cards for them. I told them that I wasn't any good at it, but they insisted. The woman handed me the cards and left to come around my side of the counter. So much happened in that space of time before she reached me (eg, my dogs got lost at a cancer hospital out in the desert, I was at a trial in which I couldn't stop interfering [asking questions, directing etc] fights with the dead etc).

I finally found myself at this kiosk thing and some guy was setting out different types of knives in front of me. He set them out randomly but he did so with considered precision and a great deal of pretension. He then looked at me expectantly and wanted me to interpret them. Obviously I didn't know what to say, but I tried to bluff my way through with general statements like, "This knife suggests that you see yourself in a way others can't conceive."

By the time I got to the second knife which was sitting across the blade of another, I looked at the shadows and images began to form and gradually took colour. Even though the scenes made no sense, I told onlookers what I was seeing, as though I was narrating a movie that only I could see:

"...and in the waves there are warriors brandishing spears and what looks like a type of wooden pitchfork. The wave is cresting, carrying the warriors higher. There is a Shaman with a straw and feather headdress coming out of the wave as it breaks..."

I woke up thinking the dream carried much significance....If only I could decipher the dream as clearly as I had seen the pictures in the 'knives'.

I'm sure I can utilise this dream in my November Novel.

Idiotic Denials

Yesterday I followed a trail of blog links and found myself at a blog (which shall remain nameless) that spoke of Domestic Discipline. Interested, I read on thinking I might be able to get some tips to make housework just that bit less dull. Sheesh, was I in for a rude shock!

For those of you that are blissfully ignorant to the nature of Domestic Discipline, let me enlighten you...

The initiated claim that Domestic Discipline is a 'tool' employed in relationships to improve behaviour (usually of the female [I read no cases of a male being disciplined in this manner, but then I didn't read extensively on the subject as what I did read was enough to 'enlighten' me]). Domestic Discipline is a contract between both parties which states that when a certain 'behaviour' is acted out, the transgressor must be spanked.

The people that use this form of 'Domestic Discipline' go out of their way to emphasise that this spanking is not a form of BDSM or in any way erotica, and that it is strictly a form of discipline. The discipline is meted out in a caring and loving (but not sexual) manner and is only allowed to be performed under the conditions set out by the contract (ie in the agreed upon place, when agreed upon bad behaviours are acted out). There are rules and regulations set out so that the woman must submit and even aid the husband to give the spanking and sex is not to take place directly after the punishment...and so it goes on.

To say the least, I was confused.

I don't know whether the participants are in a state of denial; refusing to admit they enjoy being spanked, or whether the denial is all part of the game. But from what I read, it is clear that despite the protestations that it is in no way sexual, it is. It is a form of BDSM and this belief is borne out through the 'spanking-fantasies' that pepper the blogger's sites, the links and the 'complaints' that their partners are not delivering enough discipline.

In my opinion, if these people aren't adult enough to:

1. Discipline themselves via mental means; and
   
2. Admit they get enjoyment from it,

then they are not adult enough to be performing such acts without parental supervision.

The reality is, that personally I don't give a toss what consenting adults do behind closed doors, but I draw the line when they open the doors and invite people in, claiming the interior is something it's not.

I vote that there should be less kids that pretend to be adults and more adults that pretend to be kids.

Straight Jacket T-shirts

This is one of those ideas that I like so much I wish it had been mine.

Straight Jacket T-Shirts

The slogans could do with a little (or a lot) of work, but the basic idea and some of the phrases are brilliant.

Without Trigger

I've been a long-time fan of Roy Rogers. I don't mean Roy Rogers the cowboy actor dude of "Happy trails" fame who rode around on a palomino called Trigger, I mean Roy Rogers the blues slide player. There is something about his style that reminds me of riverboat gamblers and steamboats etc.

The Bird of Prey

I was lying in bed listening to the dogs bark when I realised what I really needed was remote control technology that would distract the hounds from their noise making and redirect it to...well to anything really that was quieter; like running from a remote control airplane that bombed them everytime they started up the barking again.

Maybe I could kill two birds with one stone - or perhaps that should be rescue two birds with one plane. You see, Louis (the beagle that loves crafts and was today caught emptying a bag of unwoven wool onto the grass before rolling in it) anyway, Louis loves to chase birds and has on occasion snatched the careless bird from the air. So, my thoughts were that if I had a remote control bird (hence-forward known as the bird of prey) that dumped a load of water on them if they should refuse to stop barking when called, then it might also encourage her not to chase birds.

As I lay considering the possibilities, my plan hit a snag even before take-off, as I envisaged my remote control bird trying to navigate the trees that inhabit the fence-line.

It was only when I was a little more alert that I was able to reach a solution. Curtainman! I would have to incorporate Curtainman into my plan. He has spent many, many, MANY hours on PC flight simulators and given his flight record, I'm almost (yes there was a little, tiny bit of hesitancy in my typing there) ...as I was saying, I'm almost sure that he would be capable of navigating the fence-line forest with the bird of prey.

Given summer is on it's way, there could be a problem with water restrictions. With the Little's propensity to bark at the smallest of creatures that cares to pass our property, I imagine the bird of prey would continually be a thirsty and need to drink quite a bit to keep up with the Little's who would also need quite a bit of water to lubricate their barking-gear.

Perhaps my plan needs a little more thought before attempting to get a prototype together. This also gives me plenty of opportunity to procrastinate which seems to be one of my favourite hobbies.

Through the eye of a needle.

In the world according to me, Nikolai Aldunin should be known more for his patience and steadiness of hand than his artistic visions. True as it may be that few people would think to put a replica tank on a pedestal consisting of an apple seed split in half, I still consider Nikolai any surgeons contemporary in the 'steady-hand' stakes.

Yes, I do need glasses and it may be for that reason that just viewing his art requires some serious squinting and necessitates the correct positioning of my tongue before I can quite make out whether the camels are carrying packs or whether they're just freelancing their way through the 'eye' desert.

If I ever have to traverse such forbidding territory, let it be some as envisioned by Mr Aldunin.



If you want to be amazed by more of Nikolai's art, take a trip through the Microminature Art gallery. Don't worry about grabbing your magnifying glass as a microscope was supplied for the taking of the pictures.